Sunday, 12 October 2014

Love for a free spirit in the modern world

I find men love my free spirit, independence, creativity and sense of fun... then they become boyfriends and they start to reign me in and expect me to live within their narrow confines and it's like I'm not allowed to be my own person anymore or explore my potential and slowly they start frowning at the silliness, lightheartedness and freedom that once made them smile and inspired them and they start dictating I should live life their way and start conforming to some imaginary me they have created rather than just accept me as I am. They say thing's like "I've never met anyone like you before - you're my ideal woman" and then set about trying to change me! I was like this when they met me, so I don't feel I should change unless it comes from deep within me and inspired by my soul and my growth as a human Being.

Love for me is true acceptance. I think a soulmate is just someone who recognises themselves in others, that deeper connection and totally accepts themselves so 'the other' is a reflection of this deep acceptance.  I've experienced soulmates in friendships, but not in romantic relationships, where there appears more of a sense of ownership over others, so the connection is broken.  Marriage in the old days was a contract of business and women were considered property.  That may have worked when we as a society had the collective spiritual awareness of a potato, but things have changed. We have evolved in consciousness and the old ideas as people as property not sentient beings is falling away and thank God! Let us let it all go.

My ideal relationship is to walk alongside another freely because I want to, not out of duty or because they feel a sense of ownership over me or I them, but because I want to be with them. When the other person becomes controlling and tries to manipulate me I just rebel. I think I must have been some kind of slave in a previous life because as soon as someone tries to confine or define me I become very rebellious, which seems to make it worse as they hold tighter and tighter and I rebel more - it's like they want to keep me on a lead rather than just let me walk beside them. I'm a sentient being, not a pet! I just need a bit of space and freedom of expression. Having a free spirit, does not mean we are not loyal to those we love. Loyalty is a passionate choice not a mindless duty.

Women are told it's best to be seen, but not heard.  For over a thousand years our voices and freedoms have been suppressed and we are treated as a commodity.  At my primary school the boys were allowed to do woodwork, pottery and computers while as a girl I was given the choice of.... sewing! and that's it.  Compulsory sewing and we were not allowed to opt out (I tried). I tried to make a stand by not actually doing any sewing and glueing material together to make arty collages. Eventually I was forced to sew 'something' so I made a Polar Bear. A blood-stained Polar Bear, no less. The thing that annoyed me most was that girls weren't even allowed in the woodwork and pottery rooms, (I used to help my dad with DIY and let me tell you it was far more dangerous and if things went wrong and my dad's language would make a Sailor blush!).  Though, a couple of times at school we were allowed to stand at the back of the Library and watch the boys use the computer.  This wasn't the dark ages, this was the 70's/80's. I now own several computers, so in your face crappy, sexist Headmaster!  

At least things are changing, though society still guides the choices we make as men and women, we do have more choices and freedoms to express ourselves in the Western world, though our current restrictions are more based on social conformity.  This has a huge affect on how our brains develop as a result, which further imprints we must conform.

I chose photography and film for a career, despite teachers urging me into being a secretary, retail assistant or nurse and despite the lack of computer programming skills in school, I taught myself HTML and I coded my first website by hand.  Doing things like that in the Middle-Ages and I would have ended up being dunked in a duck pond, so for all it's faults I do love the modern age we live in as women have never had so much freedom. We can vote, we can choose what we wear and we can speak out. I think it's fabulous and I want freedom for all sentient beings.  I want us to all be able to follow our authentic truth, wherever it may lead us.  

Now expressing this desire to have some sort of equality of Being, a woman, such as I gets labelled a 'feminist' as a way of shutting us up. I don't know why wanting us ALL to be treated as a free, sentient being is so offensive or threatening to some.  I want it for ALL beings, regardless of sex, creed, colour, sexuality.  Don't you?  It's time we stop this inane 'battle of the sexes' and start just enjoying each other more.  We are no better or worse, we are just different to each other and have a right to express ourselves without judgement.  So I don't feel the need to fit into a 'normal' female paradigm, I follow my truth, my soul and it just so happens I love StarWars and Star Trek more than My Little Pony and Sex in the City.  I'd rather a 2nd hand action adventure DVD or a mix tape over flowers and perfume. Shopping is my idea of hell, I'm much rather be playing a video game or doing something creative.  

We all need to start getting in touch with who we are, connect with our truth, our real passions and stop trying to put others and ourselves in stereotypical pigeon-holes. When we find differences, celebrate and enjoy them with compassion, kindness and some understanding we generally have more in common, than what separates us.  So let other's be and BE KIND. It's not easy to live your truth openly - especially if you do it on YouTube.  Jeez, people are so hatey and negative there.  Seriously, get over yourselves and lighten up.  Don't let your insecurities dictate your attitude as you become a slave to your pain and will forever be bound to misery. When we free others, we free ourselves.

I think one of the world's greatest diseases is seriousness.  It destroys all the good stuff.  Wars and arguments all start with seriousness, either taking oneself too seriously or others or opinions.  Seriousness restricts us and lightheartedness frees us.  The pomposity and arrogance of seriousness damages our relationships with each other.  It's the sort of thing that leads to girls being made to sit silently at the back of the Library in hushed reverence to the boys at the computer the other end. So I reject seriousness.  It's dull and controlling. Haters are just expressing their own pain and pointing at their own ugliness (do they not realize this?) I want to be silly and I want to be free. So that's how I live my life. It takes the edge of hardships and creates value and meaning to existence as relationships flow more easily and life has more of those simple joys. I really love freedom.

So when I do find a fellow to walk/skip along the path of life with he's likely to be a free-spirited as me and probably just as eccentric and has a spiritual awareness that is more developed than a potato.  I will only commit if I'm free to and because I love and accept him just the way he is and he accepts and loves me too, and that is probably why I am single lol  :)

"Some say that I'm a Dreamer, but I'm not the only one."  ~ John Lennon

Saturday, 19 May 2012

Awareness of Wholeness

Everyone we encounter is ourselves. It's just we lack the awareness to be aware of it. If we honour everyone as different expressions our self our perspective releases us from the chains of ego, opinion and judgement and it's easy to be love and kindness and infinite possibilities (the place of miracles). 

When we separate ourselves from each other we cut ourselves off from source/tao. It's all illusion that we are separate. We can choose to see the illusion and stay chained to our tiny, fearful egos, or we can expand our awareness and see our true nature - expansive, infinite creativity/love. 

Do unto others as we would have done to ourselves, takes on a whole new meaning. Illusion of separation is why people can be so cruel to each other.... we mistakenly believe it's someone else we are harming. There's not really such a thing as enlightened or unenlightened, it's really just a level of awareness of wholeness, nothing more.
Awareness of Wholeness = the answer to world peace & love and joy.  :) 

Easy to action, it can be put in to practice right now, with no training, studying, religious teaching, joining a group. We just make a decision and put it in to practice. Simples.  So are you in?  :)

Friday, 2 March 2012

Star of David Astrological Planetary Transit

A friend just mentioned to me about there being a planetary Star of David Planetary Transit going on right now  and I just checked the charts: Wow! A lot going on! So as a keen Astrological Hobbyist I thought I'd share my own brief interpretation of the planetary energies:

Chart from and scrawled on by me
The Star of David (also known as The Seal of Solomon as it was 'given' to Solomon by Raphael the Archangel is a Hexagram - or in English; a six pointed star!) represents: "As above, so below" (on Earth as it is in Heaven). The upwards triangle represents Heaven and the downward facing triangle represents Earth. It also represents the Male & Female energies merging and can also represent Spirit into matter and matter into spirit. It is a very sacred and ancient symbol. NB Follow the links for further info.

This astrological  Star of David is made up of two interlocking Trines (Triangles) The Trine in astrology is a benevolent, helpful, harmonious energy. Yay! :D  
One Trine is made up of:
• Saturn (karma, austerity, strength, responsibility) (in balancing, harmonious Libra)
• Moon (emotions, dream/inner-life, Mother Earth, female, fertility/growth) (in versatile, sociable Gemini)
• Neptune (spirituality, visions, psychic abilities, imagination, intuition, mystery) and Chiron (the wounded healer - which I believe I read somewhere has only been here since times of Jesus, as it's an asteroid on a weird trajectory! (You may need to check that fact...) Chiron represents healing deep seated wounds, overcoming obstacles, healing others while self-healing, self-empowerment, wisdom, Compassion. More on the Wounded Healer here:  

Neptune is in Pisces, it's Ruler, so particularly strong Neptune and Pisces energies at work here. Both are connected with spirituality, intuition & psychic abilities. As you can see form the chart, most of the activity is in Pisces, so the Pisces energies are particularly prevalent in the chart with secondary activity in Aries and Taurus.

The other Trine is made up of:
• Jupiter (spirituality, expansion, growth, luck/good fortune, wealth) (in steady, sensual Taurus)
• Mars (Action Energy Drive Ego Warrior Dancer) (in sober, organised Virgo)
• Pluto (The transformer, subconscious, shifts in consciousness, the unseen, willpower, psychological, transformation, death/rebirth, sexuality) (in self-disciplined Capricorn)

Both Venus (self expression, love, artistry, creativity, harmony, beauty) and Jupiter (spirituality, expansion, growth, luck/good fortune, wealth)  are Sextile (helpful/self-expression/mind/activity) aspecting Neptune (spirituality, visions, psychic abilities, imagination, mystery).  Venus is also Sextile the Moon, which further strengthens the harmony between the Moon and Neptune/Chiron Trine.

The Squares (Challenges to overcome):
Uranus (freedom, reform, ideas, spontaneous, sudden, unusual, energy, nuclear, electronics) and Mercury (communication, thinking, technology, local travel, family/neighbours) and are both Square (challenging/ambition/difficulty/striving to overcome challenges - creating inner strength) the Moon (emotions, dream/inner-life, mother earth, female) and Pluto  (The transformer, subconscious/shifts in consciousness, the unseen, willpower, psychological, transformation, death/rebirth, sexuality)

The Oppositions ( Resolution of Conflicts / Partnerships /Working Together)
Saturn ((karma, austerity, strength, responsibility)  is in Opposition  (challenges or gifts/relationships/resolution of inner or outer conflicts) to Venus (self expression, love, artistry, creativity, harmony, beauty) and Jupiter (spirituality, expansion, growth, luck/good fortune, wealth)  

The Sun ( Self, potential, energy, expansion, creativity, confidence, enthusiasm) and Mars Opposition (The Sun ~ Mars Opposition usually represents a 'Battle of the Egos') with Chiron on the sun's side, maybe this interaction with Mars in the grown-up sign of Virgo and the Sun in compassionate gentle Pisces, gentleness and healing will triumph over the old wounds of Ego-mania? As mentioned earlier, Chiron is the wounded healer (healing deep seated wounds, overcoming obstacles, helping others by healing self, self-empowerment, wisdom, Compassion.)

Conjunctions signify a powerful, dynamic Energy exchange that intensifies the qualities of all the components involved.

Sun ~ Chiron ~ Neptune Conjunction
• Self, potential, energy, expansion, creativity, confidence, enthusiasm
• Healing deep seated wounds,  overcoming obstacles, helping others heal through our own healing,  self-empowerment, wisdom, Compassion.
• Spirituality, visions, psychic abilities, imagination, mystery, idealism.
These conjunctions all appear in beautiful, delicate Pisces, which is the sign of sensitivity, compassion, empathy, spirituality and idealism. Wow, what a heady, dynamic, spiritual mix! World changing, perhaps? 

Uranus ~ Mercury Conjunction
• Freedom, reform, ideas, spontaneous, sudden, unusual, energy, nuclear, electronics.
• Communication, thinking, technology, local travel, family/neighbours) 
This conjunction is in firery, dynamic Aries, the sign of willpower, energy, initiative and action.

Saturn Pluto Quintile.  
The Quintile for me is a special talent and often represents a spiritual ideal.  Like a Super Trine or Spiritual Trine. The Wiki definition is slightly different though!

Now if we mix all these energies together, it equals a pretty exciting time to be alive!

• What do these energies mean to you? 
• Have you noticed any of their effects?
• How do these planetary energies affect the planets in your own Natal Chart?  
• How can you tap into this energy for for highest evolution and wellbeing?

You can get a free look at your chart and the current aspects at the brilliant - see the extended chart selection and look for Natal Chart with Transits in the drop down menu.

Just about everything I learned about astrology is from my dear friend and teacher Lisa Tenzin-Dolma you can her out here check

You can read more about astrology in Lisa's great and informative book - "Take Control With Astrology" (part of the Teach Yourself range) and her amazing book "Understanding the Planetary Myths" which explores the Ancient Archetypes and Legends the planets get their names from and how they relate to modern astrology.  One of the best books I've ever read on Astrology!

Thanks for reading my blog.  Have a zingy 2012! :D


The AstroAspex (Aspects Finder Tool) I invented: 

A bigger view of the chart I made on yesterday:

Chart from and scrawled on by me

Thursday, 10 February 2011

New Beginnings

I am going to start blogging again!

I've worked in the film industry for many years... until I over-worked and got chronic fatigue syndrome.  I have been housebound for around 5 years and I am just starting to come out of the other side and starting to live again.  A lot has changed... the world, those around me and me,  my priorities, dreams and goals are all different and somewhat uncertain.  This blog is dedicated to my rebirth into a brave new world of discovery, adventure and my transition back into the world and my personal evolution.

Think this blog is going to be pretty random.  I haven't quite thought what I want to do with my life, let alone my blog, lol.  I just know I don't want to go back to how things were.  Whatever it is, I know it will be creative, it will stretch me and most likely surprise me. I would hope my journey and experiences will somehow help and heal those who are living through similar challenges and transition - may we find healing and companionship on our journey together. Thank you for reading!

Love Jen